"I did nothing today"

Why dont moms give themselves credit. I know I struggle to do it and I hear all to often "I didnt get a thing done today." when in realtiy you kept the house up and running and the kids safe and warm. That in my book IS doing something but even I dont give myself credit for it. Just today I was thinking of my long list of things I wanted to get done and then thought to myself how I hadnt gotten anything done at all. When in reality when I actually stopped and thought through it I had done something. I had to mentally go through my day and reaize that I hadnt been sitting around that I had... 1. Fed and dressed two kids 2. watched a 3rd baby 3. gone grocery shopping with 3 kids 4. done two loads of laundry 5. made guest bed 6. planted my herbs 7. gone and picked up missing seeds I needed to complete garden 8. done a load of dishes 9. kept 3 children safe and happy .... do some of those seem like a stretch, sure, but they are things that I did accomplish not matter how miniscule. I shouldnt focus on the fact that the laundry still needs to be folded or the fact that there are still dishes to be done and make that make me feel like I have done nothing. As a mom there will be a never ending list of things we have to get done and we will never quite accomplish it all. We have to focus on what we have done!

Who am I?

In the midst of my relationship falling apart and all the people who are telling me different things the one that has stuck with me the most is to figure out who I am. After years of emotional damage and someone bringing up insecurity after insecurity and making me feel like I'm crazy for feeling things. I have invested so much time in trying to make something work that I forgot who I am. So my goal is to figure out what I have lost of myself and what I never knew about myself. I also have felt so guilty about "family time" and trying to get things back to being right that I wasn't really taking time for the things I loved. So... 1. I love dancing... and not like booty shaking dancing (though I dont mind that in the right setting) but I had forgotten how happy dance makes me and how lost I can get in the music! After the first night of salsa dancing I walked away happier then I had been in a long time! Its loud music and a great vibe plus healthy exercises and I cant beat it. I usually get less sleep then usual the one night I go dancing but I am more energized the next day then I have been all week. 2. I love cultures and learning about the way different cultures work. I have been to Haiti many times and am planning my second trip to the DR. One of my best friends is from Austria. Other places fascinate me. I ran into a woman from Britain in the park last week and we had a great conversations about the differences in our cultures. 3. I want to be an artsy person. I dont give myself credit for the little bits of "art" that I do because I am not good at them and my skills are all very basic. 4. I want a tattoo of starry night on my shoulder. I was always afraid of making that commitment and what it would say of me and what people would think... but I have realized that I love it and it doesn't really matter what other people think. If I'm going to be happy with it then that's what matters. 5. I actually do have good ideas and dont need to worry about it. 6. I can fail miserably and wake up the next day and not let my failure get me down but move on and be better. 7. I can be horribly impatient.... but so patient at other times. I have yet to figure out what determines that though. 8. I am indecisive but its not usually because I dont know what I want but because I am trying to make other people happy... I know there is more to come but I am a work in progress!