Photography Competition

Lets face it. There are a lot of photographers out there.. I understand that some are very annoying and really shouldn't have the title photographer. But on another note why have many of the photographers I have chatted with or met so unwilling to encourage or mentor? I am part of a group on Facebook and I can hardly stand to go and read any of the post and I am 100% intimidated to ask any questions. You see they either dont like what you charge or your buisness model or your style. But they cant be nice about no they have to drag you down and tell you how much you bring down their profession. I think the beauty of photography of that there are many different styles and different people are drawn to different styles. I am a firm believer that is one reason why there can be so many different photographers out there. My style could be the complete opposit of someone elses and I am going to attract the people that are drawn towards my style. I just wish that everyone could play nice and let this be an encouraging community. I cannot tell you how my confidence has suffered from people who dont appreciate my style but take it a step farther to say that my style is "wrong". I am trying to let go of the words that have been said to me and be true to my style and let the happy, repeat customers show me that I can do this and that I am making people happy with my style!

Giving up

Sometimes it takes giving up to really realize how bad things are and how much you need help. I always thought giving up was a bad thing and askign for help was wrong. But I have come to find how much stronger its made me. I have a hard time letting go and once I did it freed me so much I was amazed at how different I felt. All the anxiety and fear I had went away and I was completely amazed at the energy I had. I used to wonder what was wrong with me and really wondered if something was seriously wrong with me as I felt like I had no motivation or energy. Once I let go and basically gave up I have had so much energy and been able to cope so much better its been amazing. Living in negativity is hard especially when it creeps up on you and you dont realize the impact it has on your life. Once you are free of it the results are amazing. I dont feel like I am faking it anymore and I am finally happy. Though I get the occasional relapse of letting the negativity get the worst of me I am trying to get stronger. Trying to not let it dig in and get a root. For now I will keep one keepin on and make the best of my situation!

Vacation... not really

You know how you have those thoughts of "can it get any worse?" and then is usually does. That was my recent "supposed to be" vacation. So picture a fully loaded Honda Pilot complete with the escargo carrier on top traveling from DC to FL. We decided to drive through the night so that the kiddos (all 4 of them 5 years old and younger) could sleep while we were driving hopefully making a quieter easier ride. We pack up and try to miss the traffic rush out of DC and did a pretty good job. Had a quick dinner with lots of energy and giggles from the very excited kids. Just shy of the NC border the puking starts from the 4 year old in the car. His parents quickly dissmiss it hoping that he is car sick... but then it continues... every 15 minutes... till about 3 am when my 17 year old sister decided to join in on the fun and start puking again. After a a few hours of sleep and kids kicking me we got back on the road only to have the two continue to puke. At that point what I would describe as "world war 3" broke out in the car and after many tears and debating it was finally agreed that we would stop to avoid bringing the sickness to my 91 year old Grandma. After spending the night in Jacksonville and everyone recovering and lysoling my car about 3 times we continued on. I have to admit that getting there and surprising my grandmother was worth every disgusting minute. But then the weather wasnt the really warm Florida weather that I was craving and my Uncle who cares for my Grandmother started not feeling great. On the day I was supposed to leave My Uncle was not looking great and my Grandmother looked at me and begged me not to leave her there alone with my Uncle. After some convincing I ended up driving him to the ER and he was admitted to the ICU as his blood sugar level was over 1100! So it was decided that I would stay behind with my kids and care for my Grandmother and Uncle. After a few days he was starting to improve and he was released. I ended up picking him up from the hospital late at night and driving him all over to try and get the medication that he needed. So it was after 1 am by the time that I got to bed. So the next morning I was trying to have the boys play on the bedroom floor and I hear a crash and my Grandmother yelling for me. I ran out and couldnt find her. Finally found her on the bathroom floor with more blood that I had ever seen. She had tripped getting into her bathrobe and had falled and smashed her face into the side of the tub. So another trip to the ER and a broken nose later. I was driving home from the ER with a raccoon like grandmother and all of a sudden I see the blue flashing lights in the rear view mirror. Of course! Luckily with the raccon like crature next to me I was able to get off with just a verbal warning. I thought at this point that it was all over and that my bad luck couldnt keep going but no of course not and I ended up in the emergency room a third time with my grandmother having a horrible headache and while there everyone in the ER recognized me at this point and questioned my Grandmother if I was treating her well or not. So all in all my vacation was hardly a vacation and as I was finally climbing on the plane to come home I was fighting off the "can it get any worse" and checking the plane for signs of mechanical malfunctions as we were preparing for take off. Even when we landed I was waiting for my luggage to be lost but it made it! It seems like this trip to Florida was just out to get me and I could be negative about everything that happened but I choose to be positive and think about how horrible it could have been had I not been there to help out! It also showed me just how strong I can be!

Swing Dancing

So I have an upcoming swing dancing night and in talking about it was reminded of one fun night. I was at a local bar/ballroom for a swing dancing night. I was there with a few friends and we had had our fill of dancing and we were preparing to leave. As we were walking toward our jackets we were stopped by a short sort of square gentleman who the proceeded to ask me to dance. I thanked him and informed him that I was about to leave. His response was "well then you have to have one more dance." I agreed and walked to the dance floor as he introduced himself as "Panther"... yup no joke his name was Panther. As I go to get into dance form I realize that he is much shorter them me making dancing a bit awkward feeling. I place my hand on his shoulder and realize that his entire shirt is completely soaked through in sweat..... and then the smell hits me... Its a combination of too much cologne and sweat and the image of Ron Burgundy and the scene where they have the sex panther cologne comes rushing to my head. I put a big smile on my face and get ready for my last dance of the night. Panther starts twirling me around and whipping me all over the place which was a bit of a challenge with our height difference. I am actually having a great time as he spins me all over the place and then in one split second I come out of a spin with lots of momentum and go to take my "rock step" and our hands catch to stop my backwards motion and I feel the slippery wet hand slip right out of mine and next thing I know I am sliding across the floor on my back and through some poor guys legs. At this point I know that I have made such a fool of myself but everyone around is totally scared that I am hurt. I stand up laughing and brush myself off and go back to dancing. The poor guy is wiping his hands on his pants in an effort to remove the said sweat. As I am trying to finish up the dance I am looking at my friends who didn't come running to my rescue but are laughing so hard they have red faces and tears running down them! So we will have to see if I run into any "panthers" on Saturday night!