DR?

In March of 2012 I went on my first trip to Haiti after P. was born. It was a very amazing and interesting trip due to the fact that we had some civil unrest while we were there and I was tear gassed by the UN. All in all though it was an amazing trip but as I was climbing on the plane to leave I was thinking that as the plane took off that I was going to feel relief that I had done what I needed to do in Haiti and be very excited to be home with my kids. As we took off and I was looking down on the country I had this overwhelming feeling "God talking to me" that I was supposed to go back to Haiti on the fall trip. Totally not what I was expecting. Sure enough I was on the fall trip in Oct to Haiti and had a great trip that time as well. I climbed on the plane and was anticipating that feeling or "God talking to me" to go back on the spring trip again and that this was going to be my normal thing from now on. I was completely confused when it didn't happen. Instead I had this overwhelming feeling for the Dominican Republic "the other side of the island" I always had an interested but felt my heart was invested in Haiti. I was stumped as to what I was supposed to do in the DR as the non profit that my parents run had not been established there. I thought maybe a family vacation there was what I was supposed to be doing and came home and started pushing for that only to be 100% shot down. Then out of pretty much no where I was asked to possibly go on a trip with the youth pastor from our church to the DR. It was all very up in the air but literally with only a weeks notice I was in the DR about a month after I had returned from Haiti. I totally fell in love all over again with the "other side" of the island. This time as I was flying into the DR and looking down on the country I had this overwhelming feeling or "God talking to me" telling me that I was supposed to move there. I found myself arguing that I would do it when the boys were grown and I was old.... and also what would I do there? As the week went on I was shown again and again that there is a huge need in the children in that country. For the orphaned and abandoned children. I saw that the years I have spent in childcare and preschool teaching could finally be such an asset in that situation. My insecurities in not having a "real world" job wouldn't matter and the desires and dreams that I have had since I was young to adopt and live in a foreign country could actually happen. I kept questioning how much of a difference could I really make and was continually reminded of the starfish story where a boy is on a beach full of stranded starfish and he is throwing them back into the water and an adult comes and is asking him what difference he will really make and he throws a starfish in the water and says that he made a difference in that one starfishes life. I could move down there and bring only one child into my life but hopefully I could make a difference in that one childs life. I have no idea where I am supposed to go from here to make this happen but I have full confidence that if it really is meant to be that it will happen. My heart is open and ready for whatever the next step is!

I got on the plane!!!!

I honestly have no idea how I made the trip... it was all of my worst nightmares all wrapped together! Start off with a very early morning and a vary small plane to NY. Nervous but accomplished that. Made it to my connecting flight and was ready to board the plane. They start boarding the plane and it was a complete mess. The flight attendants were so mad by the time I even made it on the plane. Most of the people were Dominican and just sitting where ever on the plane and the other half of the people were trying to sit in their assigned seats! Mine was taken by someone who had traded seats with someone else who had already sat in my seat! LOL Anyways I finally get a seat and they close the door to the plane. Then the poor child behind me starts screaming and kicking the back of my seat.... for an hour!!! We sat there as they had found something wrong with the plane.. another one of my worst nightmares. I really thought I would never be able to get on a plane that had had mechanical problems. Finally after over an hour they let us get off the plane as they are waiting on a part. They gave us vouchers to get food and it just so happens that you have to walk all the way to the other end of the airport to pick up said voucher. Mind you I didn't check my bag so I have my large camera bag and a duffle that is packed with stuff.. I got my meal voucher and then went and stood in line for some food. The girl behind me was talking and I glanced back and noticed that she was rubbing her wrist and that she had a tattoo on it. It hit me that I had the same tattoo. I showed her and we both sorta freaked out. It was my infinity symbol with a heart reminding me of infinite love... My first little reminder that God is always watching out for me and loving me. So after about another hour of waiting we were able to board the plane again.. then the poor child behind me completely melted down and all the other people on the plane started yelling at her and the poor kid. It only helped work him up more! So the plane is finally loaded again and the door is closed only to be delayed again as they had to take bags off... ugg!!! Through this whole process I was so calm. I have no idea what came over me and there must have been about a million people praying for me but I had no issues. Normally I shake even just climbing on a plane and feel sick to my stomach. I felt fine! No shaking.. no nothing! The plane finally takes off and I have one of the bumpiest rides I have ever taken.. when we landed in the DR the whole plane cheered! The whole traveling experience showed me how far I have come and how much stronger I am then I think that I am and that if I rely on God I can do anything!

Can I get on that airplane?

I HATE flying... I can remember being little an on a plane for the first time and hating the feeling. So I do travel but it is with great force to make myself get on the plane. I try and not let it stop me but I do have to confess to counting the hours it would take to fly somewhere.... So I said I would go on this trip and explore the possibility of starting a sponsorship program in the Dominican. The fast forward to this week.. one of the worst in my history. Everything went wrong and every insecurity I have came up out of no where. I would feel like I had just gotten one under control and out of no where another one would pop up. I really was considering not going on the trip. I felt like every time I turned around something was wrong. I realized though that if I didn't go I would really regret it and as much as it felt like the wrong timing I couldn't let me insecurities get the best of me. In my mind this morning I was saying I was going but really having very big doubts. I took a quiet walk down to the garden and spent some time weeding and praying and just trying to get a sense of what God wanted me to do. I finished weeding and went to look up the daily devotional that I do online on my phone and I opened it up and the verse for the day was " because a great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me." I literally started laughing out loud.. ok I get it... I need to go. So it is going to take every ounce of my will power to get on that plane tomorrow and leave my kids behind but I need to do it. That whole thing boosted my spirits and I came home with a much better attitude. I walk on the door and I got a text from my friend saying that they think she is having contractions and could I come over. I ended up spending the rest of the morning with a great person who had become an amazing friend and laughing, talking, photographing, and encouraging through contractions. They quickly welcomed a new baby into the family and it just was the icing on the cake to a great day and making my day a very positive one! I don't think I could have been happier to be included in such an amazing time! So now tomorrow is plane time..........